Many Couples Are Afraid to Tell Their Spouse How They Really Feel About Their Sex Life

The big taboo in a marriage is to talk about sex. The couple are suppose to have it, but how often no one really knows, how long, how passionate, what positions. There are so many unanswered questions concerning sex when two people get married. Many times the couple will have already been intimate with one another so they may have a better idea of what to expect, but what if a couple has waited until marriage and they have no idea how their partner is in bed or even to afraid to tell them what they like.

How is it possible that we live in a society where sex is everywhere, people practically walk around nude, the computer, posters, movies, books all have semi nude pictures in them, but when it comes down to basic knowledge of how to have sex or make love to your spouse there is not enough information. Taking about the act of sex is more important than having the act of sex especially if one of the spouses is not enjoying it and is afraid to hurt the other person’s feelings. Rule number one when it comes to sex in marriage, you must tell your spouse what you like and what you do not like. The person that you are suppose to spend the rest of your life with also must be the person that pleases you in bed or that person won’t make it in your life for very long. When it comes to a man and sex the typical man wants to have sex with his wife at least three times a week and he wants passionate sex, but does a woman know this static going in the marriage probably not. Some men even want to have passionate sex with their wives every day, but a woman still is not privy to this information and she may be thinking once a week and then both expectations go out the door.

One golden rule in marriage when it comes to sex is do not expect sex ask for it. You must ask your partner or talk to them about what you would like what she or he would like and come to an agreement, or at least know where the other person is coming from otherwise you can expect disaster. One thing is certain and that is always tell you r spouse how you are feeling about sex just say it in a nice way!

Why Do People Have Sex Addiction?

There is no solid consensus on what causes sex addiction in men and women, but evidence suggests brain chemistry and family environment may have something to do with it. Sex addiction is believed to have much in common with other types of addictions such as drugs and alcohol. Even some of the treatment methods are the same.

Like alcoholism, sex addiction can affect nearly anyone. The human brain releases feel-good chemicals like Dopamine, in response to certain behaviors and actions, usually ones that will lead to survival and procreation.

People tend to like sugary, fatty foods because their ancestors had a taste for things high in calories that kept them going in the days before supermarkets. Those whose brains rewarded them for eating those foods lived more to pass on their tastes to their offspring, and so on. The same principal applies to sex and sex addiction. Those who enjoyed it more, did it more often and thus passed on their behaviors to their descendants.

Of course not everyone eats candy to the point of diabetes or engages in sex to the point of addiction. These chemical reward mechanisms are present in all healthy individuals and are not bad things when operating correctly. However, in a person suffering from this affliction, the brain is seeking the release of those reward chemicals to the detriment of the person’s welfare.

An essay published online by the University of Colorado Institute for Behavioral Genetics likens substance abuse to a virus. Where a virus invades a body and reprograms cells to produce more viruses, an addiction makes use of existing systems within the brain to perpetuate itself, in this case the neural pathways that link the act of sex to the brain’s sense of reward. The Colorado essay focuses on chemical addictions; however, sex addiction is a process addiction, much like gambling addiction, where an activity is causing chemical reactions in the brain, not an outside substance.

While in the end everything may be boiled down to brain chemistry, factors other than genetics can push a person towards addiction.

According to, one study showed 82 percent of sex addicts reported suffering sexual abuse when they were young. Many reported having distant relationships with family members or were raised in a strict manner, while 80 percent reported there being some type of addiction suffered by a family member.

When a sex addict engages in sexual behavior seeking the reward chemicals from the brain, it is often to push out some other sensation, ranging such as guilt, anger, sadness, or pain. The sex becomes a form of anesthesia or a coping mechanism, one that perpetuates itself as the result of some sexual behaviors, which can then lead to more negative feelings. A sex addict driven to commit infidelity, even if he does not get caught, will feel guilt over the act, leaving him with a feeling worse than the one he was trying to escape from. This creates a sex addiction cycle which gets worse over time.

A person’s views on sex can also reinforce the reward mechanism, adding to the physical pleasure caused by the act itself. Some cultures, or parts of them, view having sex often and with multiple partners as an achievement or a sign of status. This mostly goes for males, while the reverse is true for women. Quite a few movies aimed at adolescent audiences and featuring adolescent characters, reflect a culture where having sex is a major goal in life, one in which great pains should be taken in order to achieve it. The American Pie franchise comes to mind, and while most often played for laughs, in the absence of other forces such as parental guidance or strong sex education, young males can take these stories as being instructive ones rather than laugh fodder. The message from these movies and other forms of media is that sex is good in all circumstances. This is, of course, not the case, and such logic equates to sex addiction.

According to an online essay published by the University of Carolina, sex has been used to sell products (addictive ones, no less) since 1900. Outright nude women, sexually suggestive model poses, and innuendo have all been used and with greater and greater frequency. This means people are constantly being exposed to sexual suggestions; those parts of the brain are consistently under fire, nudging people with a predisposition towards sex addiction in that direction and leaving those with the problem little reprieve.

It’s almost too difficult to count the number of sources either asking the question, making the suggestion, or directly showing the link between access to online pornography and sex addiction. Before the Internet, pornography had to be bought at a store or through the mail. While neither of these things are obstacles, if a person felt they had to hide the pornography from a spouse or family member, procuring it became a challenge. With the Internet, pornography can be be found in private and concealed much more easily, enabling sex addiction.

It’s likely the cause of sex addiction is not one thing, and in most sex addicts, it is probably a combination of factors that led to the issue. Recognizing a problem’s source can help to both treat and prevent it.

Love and Sex In A New World: A Satellite Now Searches For A New World For Us To Settle – #1

France came up with the idea and other European countries have had a part in the satellite that just started its space journey, having been launched in Russia. The United states was not mentioned. The COROT satellite was launched the day after Christmas, 2006. It could conceivably find ten rocky planets, larger than earth, capable of supporting life.

Let us move right on into the future. A distant planet named Orbisan has been chosen for the colonization. Let us slip the bonds of earthbound thinking and placed ourselves in the time slot where the future is now happening on Orbison. Tales like this will be actual soon.

It is Planet Earth doing the colonizing and now we have a wing of the United Nations that has the responsibility of Orbisan. Of course there is a committee for everything. Most are in agreement the first colonists shall be a mixed representation of Earth’s population.

First things being first, we must explore. We have plans to shuttle monthly supplies and equipment and gradually more people. For now we are assembling the exploration team. We are to colonize a new world. Hopefully we will treat it better than the one we are branching from.

One of the more worrisome of human frailties is sex when mixed couples are confined. We have selected pairs who are lovingly bonded, hopefully to eliminate sexual problems among the crew. All are indoctrinated to control any lust outside of their partner relationships. Rotations are planned to prevent infidelity and keep relationships from forming outside the designated unions.

The plan is for no pregnancies during the exploration period. If that should occur the couple will be returned on the next shuttle allowing no opportunism, such as the birth of the first Orbisanian.

Every little detail must be thought out carefully. Some problems will not be foreseen. Orbisan was selected because of its close comparison to Planet Earth making living conditions easily adaptable. Gravity and oxygen are somewhat less than Planet Earth, however over time humans will be able to adapt as their bodies adjust.

Newborns will quickly adapt and there should be no forthcoming needs of being tethered to an oxygen source as lung capacity increases. Muscular tone will change due to the lesser gravity pull.

A prefabricated shelter has been assembled and the first crew can now depart the space craft for a more comfortable existence. Of course there is no tobacco or alcohol and medications are strictly controlled. The life style on Orbisan has been on the minds of millions of people, each with a little different opinion. As I said earlier, we are to see what part sex and love and lust plays in their lives.

Can humans make a semblance of Paradise? Perhaps, by the third or forth planet. Oh what a change is in store for mankind. We have caused an imbalance of nature on Planet Earth. Surely we can learn the proper way before we run out of habitable planets. Orbisan is the first step in creating the perfect world.

Two crews of twelve each have moved into the large shelter which will be temporary housing for all. Later each couple will have separate quarters. Some will continue building shelters for those to come and the remainder will mostly explore.

There is one group shower temporarily. Males and Females take turns of course, but men and women shower as an individual group to economize water and time. During the exit of the females from the showers the males entered and total frontal nudity could be viewed by both sexes of each other. Something the building committee overlooked. No one carried towels as they were kept elsewhere.

While everyone was shocked, no one really complained and this continued with no correction except some turned their backs while others were less modest. Due to time constraints the schedule was not changed. It was not known whether no one wanted it to change this strange happening or not. No one was in charge of making such a change. Apparently no one wanted to become the changer of the voyeurism opportunity, so they continued to march nude and wet in on display to the other sex, daily.

There were no problems to come of this for quite some time. Then eye contact came into play and some souls sought out other souls with which to make eye contact and perhaps smile a bit and certainly giving a full view to the other. A couple of men were unable to control their lustful thoughts and it was very apparent. The women snickered.

The inventiveness of human kind has no limits. Two couples decided to switch with two other couples. So the two females would switch after all were asleep in their tiny sleeping compartments. Before too long they were found out. However the one who did the discovering told his partner who thought it was a splendid idea and brought another couple into confidence.

Now we have four couples playing switchers. The first two couples having no idea they had been discovered and emulated. One of the women who knew there were actually four couples interchanging partners nightly became worried. This activity could ruin the mission for others to come. All because they paraded nude in front of each other daily.

She reported the lack of cover in the shower hallway while the switching of males and females was taking place. The committee wondered why it took so long to report this terrible situation. The next shuttle came equipped with curtain material to fix the problem. It all sounds foolish, but this is a government project.

The lust simmered down. The exploration continued without incident and the crews rotated, leaving a job well done. The sexual encounters never came into the open, however eight people understand a bit more about the sexual urge during colonization than the others.

Settlement continues until there is a community of seven thousand. The plan to stabilize this many people in a civilized manner, still under controls and constraints, comes from our experience with Aircraft Carriers. Aircraft carriers with both females and males in the ships compliment.

In the next article we shall move on into social activities where entertainment is vital and new rules are challenged. Should the new colonist be permitted to view Planet Earth television? Is this going to become a Big Brother is watching situation or will freedom to choose be allowed? Many complicated decisions must be made continuously.

Look for Article #2